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Brrr.

I is = cold.

Mums called me this afternoon. Turned out that my sis was going out tonight... taking mums car... and she wanted company... I really couldn't think of any reason not to... I didn't have anything planned for the evening. Besides being worried about the munchkin, anyway. Almost didn't come because of it, actually... DIdn't want to be otherwise occupied if Star needed to call or if something happened. But, in the end I did... Rode the bike. That was a mistake. It got cold... fast.

Still cold... right now, actually. 

But, dinner was nice. Talked with mom a little bit... Now we're watching TV. 

Star messaged me during dinner... Munchkins temp worked itself up above a hundred. They went into the doctor... Got some anti-biotics. Hope they do the trick quickly. I know its tearing me up and i'm just .hearing. about it all, can't imagine how rough it is on Star actually being there :'(

At least the weekends here. Hopefully they can both get some much needed rest over the next few days. This weeks got to have been hell on them. I feel bad for taking any of Stars attention at all, at this point. She tells me its ok, and she doesn't mind when i message her... but... She's just got so much else going on that i feel selfish for trying to have some time with her.

Did  a lot more reading of my new books today. Every chapter i put away makes me ache and wish i was already out in cali so much more. We started talking about that last night... the whole... me moving thing. She was trying to tell me that she'd decided that she wasn't going to demand that i move out there... that it was important to her that I had a choice.  I was attempting to explain that i didn't feel forced, that i had a choice and that i'd already made it. 

Ever since we'd 'gotten together' sort to speak, ever since we'd allowed ourselves to acknowledge our feelings for each other, I'd made peace with the fact that i'd eventually be ending up in Cali... If things worked out. She'd spelled out my unit, job, sis, mum, and kittens as reasons for her not asking me to do it... Well, the unit can be changed, i can get a new job, kitten can come with... or if i had to i could probably give him to Jaden to take care of... And, well, as far as sis and mum is concerned... well, as far as family in general is concerned... i don't have much of one... i've got mum, sis, an aunt, and a grandma. thats it. 

And I've been away from them all for so long with the Army, that, moving out to Cali wouldn't be a back breaker for me... I'd miss lexi a little, but, she'll be graduating high school in a few years and starting her own life soon, anyway.

And, frankly... What other options are there? Star and Munchkin are in Cali... thats where they've been. and if i want to be with them, which i do... so very much, then thats where i've gotta be. Even if Star was open to moving... It wouldn't be fair to Munchkin... nor would it be a good start to such a life changing transition... much better to keep as much similar as possible, given the circumstances. 

Anyway... I dunno if we'll talk about that anymore tonight or soon or not. Stars gonna need some hardcore rest, and I don't want to get in the way of that. And we've got plenty of time to work that stuff out. as great as it would be to know already. its still nice to dream a little, too.

Bowling tomorrow... sounds like we're going to be doing some drinking pre and post... have to talk to Star about that and see how she feels about it.

Excited to bowl though, i do enjoy it. 

So, i'm staying at moms tonight... was too cold out to ride back... specially with all the sore joints and the ear ache that i've got... how ironic that me and munchkin both gots the earaches, huh?

So far as I know, Jaden's supposed to be getting back into town on Sunday... Thats something else i need to talk with Star about... See how she feels about Jaden and me still being friends and all that.. 

Did some window shopping today... think i found something pretty special. certainly kept a smile on my face for most of the day. 

what else is going on? not much... really... looking forward to the weekend. need to play a little ketchup... but, then again, i always need to do that :s

Think i'm gonna stop typing for awhile... moms fallen asleep and a nap actually doesn't sound half bad at the moment. 

Thanks for tuning in, catch y;all on the flip