Alright, well, Here I am again. Thought for awhile that I might never make it back here to update, but, So it goes.
Its Monday. Mondays suck. 18th of May... Can't remember if i had an online name for her or not yet... but the GF before Ginger, its her Bday today. She lives back in our hometown again now with her husband and their little 6 month old. I'm very happy for them and a little saddend that i didn't get to stop by and say hey this weekend when i was in town. Ah well, maybe next time.
3 days. In three days I'll be in Cali. I'm incredibly nervous but just as equally excited to get out there and to actually 'meet' Star for the first time. Its still too far away I want thursday to be here .now.
Not sure whats going on right now between Jaden and I. She says she needs some de-stressing time. I'm takign that to mean that I've somehow become a stress to her. Not exactly a good thing nor something i'm proud of if its true.
Head/neck/shoulder hurts right now... Going to give this a rest for a minute and grab some lunch... possibly more later, possibly nothign else for months... y'all know the drill.
out.
18.5.09
16.3.09
16 - Right and Wrong
Drill Weekend, lack of interweb access. Sorry for the lapse.
Was a tough weekend. Memorial Service for our Command Sgt Maj... 35 years of service to our unit. To say he'll be missed just doesn't scrape the surface.
The Training was long, dry, run by civilians, and utterly fruitless.
I was tired, worn down, still recovering from my friday headache, and the guys at Drill didn't help out much.
Gonna cut straight to the meat here and i'll write about whatevers left over later on if need be.
Found out on Friday from Jaden that Ace is under the impression that she has severed all social ties with me. And that the only reason she and I would come into communication would be because of the fact that her kitten still lives with me or some other sort of emergency of that sort.
It was a numbing blow then, and over the weekend it only set in farther as time went along.
So, i brought it up last night. Over IM, told her how i felt. Told her I'm not comfortable with it, wondering how she could be. If/when it blows up, well, Frankly i'm not keen on angering a marine. I may not like the jar heads... but, They're still brothers in arms, and I do have respect for them. And, I'm also not keen on ending up shouldering the blame for troubles with thier marriage. Last thing I want is to be the scapegoat for a quick exit from that.
So, it was the right thing... to bring up the issues and the facts and the fears. Do I regret it? I think so.
Last time we had a convo along these lines, Jaden had explicitly told me that there wasn't any way she was going to stop talking to me. That it wasn't an option. No such statement was made, this time around. Meaning by doing the 'right' thing and calling her on this situation, i very well could have placed our friendship on her chopping block, and her gloves might already be off.
I don't .want. to not be able to talk to Jaden anymore... She's the only person in this state that understands me, that knows me and what i've been through, and understands what i need. She's the only person around here that I trust. And thats not something i really want to lose from my life.
She said something last night about goign 7 months without talking and then suddenly coming back into my life, and hoping that i wasn't a completely new person and that i wouldn't end up resenting her for her choice.
heh...
----------------------------------------------------------
Just like that, huh?
heh... Just got my answer, i suppose. Jaden just texted me, letting me know she's clearing out whats left of her stuff from my apt after work today.
Guess i can't be suprised.
*small shrug* was her call to make and she made it. nothing i can do about it but adjust and keep going, yeah?
work time... later.
Was a tough weekend. Memorial Service for our Command Sgt Maj... 35 years of service to our unit. To say he'll be missed just doesn't scrape the surface.
The Training was long, dry, run by civilians, and utterly fruitless.
I was tired, worn down, still recovering from my friday headache, and the guys at Drill didn't help out much.
Gonna cut straight to the meat here and i'll write about whatevers left over later on if need be.
Found out on Friday from Jaden that Ace is under the impression that she has severed all social ties with me. And that the only reason she and I would come into communication would be because of the fact that her kitten still lives with me or some other sort of emergency of that sort.
It was a numbing blow then, and over the weekend it only set in farther as time went along.
So, i brought it up last night. Over IM, told her how i felt. Told her I'm not comfortable with it, wondering how she could be. If/when it blows up, well, Frankly i'm not keen on angering a marine. I may not like the jar heads... but, They're still brothers in arms, and I do have respect for them. And, I'm also not keen on ending up shouldering the blame for troubles with thier marriage. Last thing I want is to be the scapegoat for a quick exit from that.
So, it was the right thing... to bring up the issues and the facts and the fears. Do I regret it? I think so.
Last time we had a convo along these lines, Jaden had explicitly told me that there wasn't any way she was going to stop talking to me. That it wasn't an option. No such statement was made, this time around. Meaning by doing the 'right' thing and calling her on this situation, i very well could have placed our friendship on her chopping block, and her gloves might already be off.
I don't .want. to not be able to talk to Jaden anymore... She's the only person in this state that understands me, that knows me and what i've been through, and understands what i need. She's the only person around here that I trust. And thats not something i really want to lose from my life.
She said something last night about goign 7 months without talking and then suddenly coming back into my life, and hoping that i wasn't a completely new person and that i wouldn't end up resenting her for her choice.
heh...
----------------------------------------------------------
Just like that, huh?
heh... Just got my answer, i suppose. Jaden just texted me, letting me know she's clearing out whats left of her stuff from my apt after work today.
Guess i can't be suprised.
*small shrug* was her call to make and she made it. nothing i can do about it but adjust and keep going, yeah?
work time... later.
12.3.09
[ ] - TRK
Wooot Wooot!
I gots a tracking number for muh kicks!
No puedo esperar para conseguir mi zapatos nuevos!
Should be sometime next week!!!! YAY!
besides that... not much to update... i've had lunch now... Bout to start reading... Bring on the rest of the day!
I gots a tracking number for muh kicks!
No puedo esperar para conseguir mi zapatos nuevos!
Should be sometime next week!!!! YAY!
besides that... not much to update... i've had lunch now... Bout to start reading... Bring on the rest of the day!
12 - Replace
Ever have to replace something?
Something you really don't want to replace?
It sucks.
It sucks alot. To have your most precious, favorite pair of shoes .finally. give up on you. When you've finally worn them down, worn them out, to the point that its hurting you to continue to whear them, and you are forced to realize, and recognize, and acknowledge that they've had a good run, and its time to move on.
:(
Why do I get attatched to things so hardcoredly?
Well, I don't know. But, I can't admit that its a bad thing. If i wasn't .so. attatched to these Sambas, i'd have never actually gotten joy out of wearing them. And tell me, i dare you, that being able to get joy out of something so simple as wearing a pair of shoes is a bad thing.
go ahead.
I'm waiting.
Anyway. Had to do it, ordered some new pairs yesterday. Because, just like .anything. i seem to like, be it tv shows, shoes, bands, ect... if i like it... eventually its doomed. And Samba's just aren't sold in retail stores around here anymore. So i have to order them online. And, well, because of dealing with the greif and loss of having to turn in the two pairs i have now... I went ahead and ordered three new pairs.
I'm excited and I can't wait for them to get here!!!
http://www.shopadidas.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2007309
http://www.shopadidas.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3228762
http://www.shopadidas.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3018347&shopGroup=O&cp=&colorId=
SO excited!
Ok, what else is new?
Umm... Ugh, Drill this weekend. Absolutely .have. to do laundry tonight. No excuses. Maybe after figuring out movie plans with Jaden i could bribe her into helping?
Leaving out tomorrow for Drill, crashing at TJ's place since we've got it at HQ this month instead of back here at home. Gonna suck to be drilling, but hopefully seeing him again will be fun at least.
Despite the convo last night with star in regards to avoiding big plans on her upcoming bday, i'm still holding out a sliver of hope that she might warm up to the idea, and therefore i'm still windowshopping for plane tickets/hotel rooms. Seems if i group them together in some sort of vacation package it makes the prices quite a bit more reasonable...
Ah well, we'll see how that goes when we get there. Like i told her last night i'm not in the business of being pushy or anything like that, and if she wants to keep that day low key i'll be perfectly alright with it.
Um...
Oh!
Got new pictures of the Munchkin yesterday afternoon. *big cheesy grin* was ammaaaaaazing. I cropped em, printed em, trimmed em, and taped em up. Now i've got photos in my office, just like everyone else *bigger cheesy grin*
Kittens did their best to keep me up last night, and I think they did a pretty good job because I am a lil sleepy today... But its nothing an overload of caffiene can't fix, I'm sure...
I'm well into part 2 of my 'in step' book now, ear marking and highlighting my way through all its info laden pages.
Ace... Jaden's hubby for the non nebrisers who might be hanging around... deploys tomorrow. :( Def not gonna be a happy day for her. But it looks like she's heading back to the QC for the weekend, prolly a visit to the inlaws and the niecey... So, She'll probably have a decent enough support system to deal with it, and its certainly not the first rodeo for them and their relationship.
*giggles a bit*
Did my best to try and explain to Star today how I know that i'm a size 8/9 in jeans... Hoping all kidding aside that it went well and that she really wasn't all that weirded out by it. For all my talk and bark, i really am fairly normal and I don't actually even own a pair of womens Jeans at the moment, despite the fact that i know my size and feel like the cuts, fabrics and styles are far superior to the mens jeans out there.
Think thats about it, for now... Gonna give this a rest for a bit, grab a bite to eat, look around at airfare a lil more... Then prolly tear open the book to ge through another chapter or two before stamp hour starts.
Peace.
Something you really don't want to replace?
It sucks.
It sucks alot. To have your most precious, favorite pair of shoes .finally. give up on you. When you've finally worn them down, worn them out, to the point that its hurting you to continue to whear them, and you are forced to realize, and recognize, and acknowledge that they've had a good run, and its time to move on.
:(
Why do I get attatched to things so hardcoredly?
Well, I don't know. But, I can't admit that its a bad thing. If i wasn't .so. attatched to these Sambas, i'd have never actually gotten joy out of wearing them. And tell me, i dare you, that being able to get joy out of something so simple as wearing a pair of shoes is a bad thing.
go ahead.
I'm waiting.
Anyway. Had to do it, ordered some new pairs yesterday. Because, just like .anything. i seem to like, be it tv shows, shoes, bands, ect... if i like it... eventually its doomed. And Samba's just aren't sold in retail stores around here anymore. So i have to order them online. And, well, because of dealing with the greif and loss of having to turn in the two pairs i have now... I went ahead and ordered three new pairs.
I'm excited and I can't wait for them to get here!!!
http://www.shopadidas.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2007309
http://www.shopadidas.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3228762
http://www.shopadidas.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3018347&shopGroup=O&cp=&colorId=
SO excited!
Ok, what else is new?
Umm... Ugh, Drill this weekend. Absolutely .have. to do laundry tonight. No excuses. Maybe after figuring out movie plans with Jaden i could bribe her into helping?
Leaving out tomorrow for Drill, crashing at TJ's place since we've got it at HQ this month instead of back here at home. Gonna suck to be drilling, but hopefully seeing him again will be fun at least.
Despite the convo last night with star in regards to avoiding big plans on her upcoming bday, i'm still holding out a sliver of hope that she might warm up to the idea, and therefore i'm still windowshopping for plane tickets/hotel rooms. Seems if i group them together in some sort of vacation package it makes the prices quite a bit more reasonable...
Ah well, we'll see how that goes when we get there. Like i told her last night i'm not in the business of being pushy or anything like that, and if she wants to keep that day low key i'll be perfectly alright with it.
Um...
Oh!
Got new pictures of the Munchkin yesterday afternoon. *big cheesy grin* was ammaaaaaazing. I cropped em, printed em, trimmed em, and taped em up. Now i've got photos in my office, just like everyone else *bigger cheesy grin*
Kittens did their best to keep me up last night, and I think they did a pretty good job because I am a lil sleepy today... But its nothing an overload of caffiene can't fix, I'm sure...
I'm well into part 2 of my 'in step' book now, ear marking and highlighting my way through all its info laden pages.
Ace... Jaden's hubby for the non nebrisers who might be hanging around... deploys tomorrow. :( Def not gonna be a happy day for her. But it looks like she's heading back to the QC for the weekend, prolly a visit to the inlaws and the niecey... So, She'll probably have a decent enough support system to deal with it, and its certainly not the first rodeo for them and their relationship.
*giggles a bit*
Did my best to try and explain to Star today how I know that i'm a size 8/9 in jeans... Hoping all kidding aside that it went well and that she really wasn't all that weirded out by it. For all my talk and bark, i really am fairly normal and I don't actually even own a pair of womens Jeans at the moment, despite the fact that i know my size and feel like the cuts, fabrics and styles are far superior to the mens jeans out there.
Think thats about it, for now... Gonna give this a rest for a bit, grab a bite to eat, look around at airfare a lil more... Then prolly tear open the book to ge through another chapter or two before stamp hour starts.
Peace.
11.3.09
11 - Acceptance
So I went out bowling for that tourney last Saturday... Didn't really get round here to blog too much after that, but, I got a pleasant suprise phone call from Star the following afternoon. Can't even explain the giddyness i felt from that, but, anyway... Not the point here. During the call she told me something that instantly tensed me up. She told me that while i was out bowling and partying, she read my blog, cover to cover.
For those of you that have followed my blog thus far... the last time someone did something like that, they didn't take it very well. So, naturally, I was pretty nervous about that. However, I'd debated the possibility before i'd given her a link to it, and decided that the risk was one that needed to be taken. If she was to be such a major part of my life, I owed it to her to let her in completely, to show her everything.
Well, she's still talking to me... So... whew. heh. She seemed to handle it exceptionally well, even... The only real question she posed to me was whether or not I was still smoking, which I'm not. Haven't since early-mid Jan, and it had only been that one pack that i'd picked up over new years.
Don't know how to express in words the relief I felt that even after reading all the maddening ramblings of mine, that she could still speak to me, still care for me, still love me... A miracle, for sure.
She called on her way home from work, last night, and we talked. Not about anything, really... Just talked. Smiled, laughed, and just... talked. Was awesome.
Ugh, just got slammed with a ton of boxes here at work.. .and on paper day, no less... :( well, That'll be all for now i guess... i'll see if i can make it back here later, no promises thoguh.
For those of you that have followed my blog thus far... the last time someone did something like that, they didn't take it very well. So, naturally, I was pretty nervous about that. However, I'd debated the possibility before i'd given her a link to it, and decided that the risk was one that needed to be taken. If she was to be such a major part of my life, I owed it to her to let her in completely, to show her everything.
Well, she's still talking to me... So... whew. heh. She seemed to handle it exceptionally well, even... The only real question she posed to me was whether or not I was still smoking, which I'm not. Haven't since early-mid Jan, and it had only been that one pack that i'd picked up over new years.
Don't know how to express in words the relief I felt that even after reading all the maddening ramblings of mine, that she could still speak to me, still care for me, still love me... A miracle, for sure.
She called on her way home from work, last night, and we talked. Not about anything, really... Just talked. Smiled, laughed, and just... talked. Was awesome.
Ugh, just got slammed with a ton of boxes here at work.. .and on paper day, no less... :( well, That'll be all for now i guess... i'll see if i can make it back here later, no promises thoguh.
10.3.09
10 - Anticipation
Its killing me. But in the best way possible. Not only did her package get delivered this morning, so i'm waiting ever so patiently to hear if she liked it or not... but as we said our goodnights last night she managed to mention that she'd be calling, today! Anticipation is killing me, and I absolutely love it.
Lapsed a bit after the last entry, I know. Laptop turnover just made a mess of all the logistics.
Update... Star did not get mugged, she was not in a car accident and she .is. ok. Completely accidental bump on the head from the littler munchkin during play. Not that it probably hurt any less... but, well, certainly a more pleasant reality than the ones i'd been imagining.
Munckins doing much better, antibiotics did their thing and so far as I've been let on, she's pretty much back to her ussual hyper-adorable self. Which is such an amazingly great relief I don't think i can express it in words. Relieved for both Munchkin and for Star, that week was just not a very pleasant one for them, and I'm sure we're all glad we've moved on into this week, instead.
Jadens home, she got home on Saturday. I saw her for a bit before Bowling, we touched base/caught each other up on the intracacies of the past few weeks. Things, for the most part, seem to be unchanged. Time will still tell, as it always does, but for now, I can rest easy knowing I still have my bfff, and thats a good thing.
Nothing new to report on the Mom/Sis front, things have been quiet from their end here recently, so, stand by on that, i'm sure theres something else ready to sneak up on me, eventually.
This is going to be a short entry, as I've got to get back to work fairly soon here, but, needed to at least get something up here, if nothing else but to motivate me to come back and put some more up tomorrow.
All for now...
-Me
Lapsed a bit after the last entry, I know. Laptop turnover just made a mess of all the logistics.
Update... Star did not get mugged, she was not in a car accident and she .is. ok. Completely accidental bump on the head from the littler munchkin during play. Not that it probably hurt any less... but, well, certainly a more pleasant reality than the ones i'd been imagining.
Munckins doing much better, antibiotics did their thing and so far as I've been let on, she's pretty much back to her ussual hyper-adorable self. Which is such an amazingly great relief I don't think i can express it in words. Relieved for both Munchkin and for Star, that week was just not a very pleasant one for them, and I'm sure we're all glad we've moved on into this week, instead.
Jadens home, she got home on Saturday. I saw her for a bit before Bowling, we touched base/caught each other up on the intracacies of the past few weeks. Things, for the most part, seem to be unchanged. Time will still tell, as it always does, but for now, I can rest easy knowing I still have my bfff, and thats a good thing.
Nothing new to report on the Mom/Sis front, things have been quiet from their end here recently, so, stand by on that, i'm sure theres something else ready to sneak up on me, eventually.
This is going to be a short entry, as I've got to get back to work fairly soon here, but, needed to at least get something up here, if nothing else but to motivate me to come back and put some more up tomorrow.
All for now...
-Me
6.3.09
[ ] - Honey what happened?
Ok... um.. freaking out?!
Somethings happened. Somehow Stars eye has been swollen shut.
What happend? A car accident? did she get mugged? Did she fall? Did somethign fall on her?
Its still early in the night, otherwise I'd call her right away to make sure she's ok. But... I don't want to disturb the routine she might have going on at home... don't want to make waves or cause problems... If she wanted to talk i think shed have called already.
Gods I hope she's ok... I hope Munckins ok too...
WHat could have happened? *clinches his eyes and fists shut in worry*
Don't know what to do... right now. I've messaged her back too many times already i think... but, i can't call wo knowing if its ok or not... so... What do I do?
Hope i hear from her soon... I'm a wreck
[ ] - HomeAgain
Brrr.
I is = cold.
Mums called me this afternoon. Turned out that my sis was going out tonight... taking mums car... and she wanted company... I really couldn't think of any reason not to... I didn't have anything planned for the evening. Besides being worried about the munchkin, anyway. Almost didn't come because of it, actually... DIdn't want to be otherwise occupied if Star needed to call or if something happened. But, in the end I did... Rode the bike. That was a mistake. It got cold... fast.
Still cold... right now, actually.
But, dinner was nice. Talked with mom a little bit... Now we're watching TV.
Star messaged me during dinner... Munchkins temp worked itself up above a hundred. They went into the doctor... Got some anti-biotics. Hope they do the trick quickly. I know its tearing me up and i'm just .hearing. about it all, can't imagine how rough it is on Star actually being there :'(
At least the weekends here. Hopefully they can both get some much needed rest over the next few days. This weeks got to have been hell on them. I feel bad for taking any of Stars attention at all, at this point. She tells me its ok, and she doesn't mind when i message her... but... She's just got so much else going on that i feel selfish for trying to have some time with her.
Did a lot more reading of my new books today. Every chapter i put away makes me ache and wish i was already out in cali so much more. We started talking about that last night... the whole... me moving thing. She was trying to tell me that she'd decided that she wasn't going to demand that i move out there... that it was important to her that I had a choice. I was attempting to explain that i didn't feel forced, that i had a choice and that i'd already made it.
Ever since we'd 'gotten together' sort to speak, ever since we'd allowed ourselves to acknowledge our feelings for each other, I'd made peace with the fact that i'd eventually be ending up in Cali... If things worked out. She'd spelled out my unit, job, sis, mum, and kittens as reasons for her not asking me to do it... Well, the unit can be changed, i can get a new job, kitten can come with... or if i had to i could probably give him to Jaden to take care of... And, well, as far as sis and mum is concerned... well, as far as family in general is concerned... i don't have much of one... i've got mum, sis, an aunt, and a grandma. thats it.
And I've been away from them all for so long with the Army, that, moving out to Cali wouldn't be a back breaker for me... I'd miss lexi a little, but, she'll be graduating high school in a few years and starting her own life soon, anyway.
And, frankly... What other options are there? Star and Munchkin are in Cali... thats where they've been. and if i want to be with them, which i do... so very much, then thats where i've gotta be. Even if Star was open to moving... It wouldn't be fair to Munchkin... nor would it be a good start to such a life changing transition... much better to keep as much similar as possible, given the circumstances.
Anyway... I dunno if we'll talk about that anymore tonight or soon or not. Stars gonna need some hardcore rest, and I don't want to get in the way of that. And we've got plenty of time to work that stuff out. as great as it would be to know already. its still nice to dream a little, too.
Bowling tomorrow... sounds like we're going to be doing some drinking pre and post... have to talk to Star about that and see how she feels about it.
Excited to bowl though, i do enjoy it.
So, i'm staying at moms tonight... was too cold out to ride back... specially with all the sore joints and the ear ache that i've got... how ironic that me and munchkin both gots the earaches, huh?
So far as I know, Jaden's supposed to be getting back into town on Sunday... Thats something else i need to talk with Star about... See how she feels about Jaden and me still being friends and all that..
Did some window shopping today... think i found something pretty special. certainly kept a smile on my face for most of the day.
what else is going on? not much... really... looking forward to the weekend. need to play a little ketchup... but, then again, i always need to do that :s
Think i'm gonna stop typing for awhile... moms fallen asleep and a nap actually doesn't sound half bad at the moment.
Thanks for tuning in, catch y;all on the flip
[ ] - Hellish
Whew... got my morning text. Thier night didn't go so well. :( Munchkin finally made it to sleep around eleven, but woke up again at one with wicked chills that lasted till around five. :((
Poor Munchkin, and poor Star.
I am glad to know that at the very least there wasn't a mid-night emergency... Her temp wasn't exceedingly high, so it was just a rough, painful, uncomfortable night. My heart still aches for the lil one, but i'm relieved as well.
Its hard to go through the steps of the day, finish out the work week, knowing whats going on out there, and wishing I could be there to help out. Just don't have much of a desire to do anything but hover over my cell phone waiting ofr that next text.
*small sigh* Such is the way, though.
Bunch of us are going out to chinese for lunch today. Its always fun when we can get out to eat in a group instead of just slumming it up in the cafe. Need to clean up my office a bit cause i think the boss is stopping by later. He's in the National Gaurd so he has that OCD type stuff we army guys get, and unlike me, he hasn't shaken it. So he always likes things to be straightend up inspection ready style. And since i'm IN the army, unlike the rest of the workers... he holds me to the higher standard.
Well, suppose i'll go do that now, before lunch...
More later this afternoon I think, so stay tuned.
Poor Munchkin, and poor Star.
I am glad to know that at the very least there wasn't a mid-night emergency... Her temp wasn't exceedingly high, so it was just a rough, painful, uncomfortable night. My heart still aches for the lil one, but i'm relieved as well.
Its hard to go through the steps of the day, finish out the work week, knowing whats going on out there, and wishing I could be there to help out. Just don't have much of a desire to do anything but hover over my cell phone waiting ofr that next text.
*small sigh* Such is the way, though.
Bunch of us are going out to chinese for lunch today. Its always fun when we can get out to eat in a group instead of just slumming it up in the cafe. Need to clean up my office a bit cause i think the boss is stopping by later. He's in the National Gaurd so he has that OCD type stuff we army guys get, and unlike me, he hasn't shaken it. So he always likes things to be straightend up inspection ready style. And since i'm IN the army, unlike the rest of the workers... he holds me to the higher standard.
Well, suppose i'll go do that now, before lunch...
More later this afternoon I think, so stay tuned.
06 - Restraint
Friday now... bout a quarter to 9. On a typical morning i'd be hearing from star in less than an hour. But theres no way of knowing, at this point, how typical or atypical this mornings going to be.
Got a pair of texts after last nights blog... As of then the munchkin hadn't needed to go to the hospital, but she was still in pain :(. First night in a few weeks i've had trouble sleeping, and its not too hard to figure out why.
And now I'm restraining myself. Stopping myself from blowing up Stars phone with worried questions and nagging her about it all. If she did manage to get some sleep, I don't want to wake her. And I def don't want to wake her with all of that and give her more stress at a time like this. So i'm restraining, and waiting. Got the first mail run done already... waiting for the express packages to come in now... I'll sort them, and deliver them, and hopefully by that point, i'll have reveived a text or two.
*crosses his fingers*
Just hope the lil one's alright.
Got a pair of texts after last nights blog... As of then the munchkin hadn't needed to go to the hospital, but she was still in pain :(. First night in a few weeks i've had trouble sleeping, and its not too hard to figure out why.
And now I'm restraining myself. Stopping myself from blowing up Stars phone with worried questions and nagging her about it all. If she did manage to get some sleep, I don't want to wake her. And I def don't want to wake her with all of that and give her more stress at a time like this. So i'm restraining, and waiting. Got the first mail run done already... waiting for the express packages to come in now... I'll sort them, and deliver them, and hopefully by that point, i'll have reveived a text or two.
*crosses his fingers*
Just hope the lil one's alright.
5.3.09
[ ] - Munchkin down
*worrisome frown*
bout a quarter till midnight now. just finished an im convo with Star. normally that'd be a bittersweet sort of thing. Happy from the conversation, but sad that it had to end... And then i'd fall asleep and dream of her all night long...
Not this time. because this time instead of a 'dream sweetly' or a 'good night' or something else along those lines.. the parting was of Star letting me know she thinks Munchkin might have an ear infection and that she gtg.
Worried barely begins to cover it. Poor Munchkin. She's had terrible headaches the past two days already :(.
Its times such as these that you're made critically aware of just how far away and just how helpless you really are. All I want to do is be there for both of them. To hold both of them. To reassure them that its going to be alright. To do something... to do Everything... within my power to help make things better...
I'll stay up as late as I can, in hopes of getting an update on Munchkin and how she's doing. But i'll understand if I don't. Right now Stars only concern should and has to be Munchkin. She can't and shouldn't waste an ounce of energy worrying or thinking about me. I'm not the one with the possible ear infection...
So... feel free to stay up with me. Cross your fingers with me. We'll all hope and wish for Munckin to have a speedy recovery.
All for now...
bout a quarter till midnight now. just finished an im convo with Star. normally that'd be a bittersweet sort of thing. Happy from the conversation, but sad that it had to end... And then i'd fall asleep and dream of her all night long...
Not this time. because this time instead of a 'dream sweetly' or a 'good night' or something else along those lines.. the parting was of Star letting me know she thinks Munchkin might have an ear infection and that she gtg.
Worried barely begins to cover it. Poor Munchkin. She's had terrible headaches the past two days already :(.
Its times such as these that you're made critically aware of just how far away and just how helpless you really are. All I want to do is be there for both of them. To hold both of them. To reassure them that its going to be alright. To do something... to do Everything... within my power to help make things better...
I'll stay up as late as I can, in hopes of getting an update on Munchkin and how she's doing. But i'll understand if I don't. Right now Stars only concern should and has to be Munchkin. She can't and shouldn't waste an ounce of energy worrying or thinking about me. I'm not the one with the possible ear infection...
So... feel free to stay up with me. Cross your fingers with me. We'll all hope and wish for Munckin to have a speedy recovery.
All for now...
05 - Empyreal
"Sometimes good bye is a second chance."
Liked that song since the first time I've heard it, though at the time I'd never have thought it'd come to hold such a strong meaning over my life.
Hey Y'all. Welcome to the Empyreal Sunrise blog. If we already know each other from the Nebulous Sunrise blog, then we don't need an introduction, but please, be considerate of any newcomers who haven't been along for that ride.
My name here is Gauge. Its not my real one, but its functional for the virtual world. Names used in here are almost always changed to protect the identities of the flesh and bones they represent. So, get used to seeing some creative nicknames for folks.
Me? I'm Gauge. 23 years old. I'm a Combat Medic in the US Army Reserves, I'm a mail room clerk for a large international finance corperation, I'm a big brother to an increasingly troublesome little sister, and i try every day to be a great friend to any who will let me into their lives.
I live in the midwest right now, a one bedroom apt that i share with two roommates. I call them the lil guys... Two kittens. One belongs to me, the other belongs to my Ex-Gf Jaden. Thats a name you'll probably here in most of my blogs, so commit it to memory. Jaden and I split up in October of last year, after a ten month relationship. It was pretty brutal. For more in depth backstory on all of that, you'll have to pop over to the Nebrise blog and read up. Anyway, Jaden and I have decided to remain friends, best friends at that, so, she's a pretty constant part of my life and therefore makes it inot most of my posts in some form or another.
Why do I write here? I started the Nebrise blog after Ginger and I broke up in the fall of 07. It served as an outlet for my angst, tension, and stress. Without having many friends around post-deployment i didn't have an good way to vent stuff out, so i created Nebrise and put it out there. Now, Well, honestly i just got addicted to it, I think. I enjoy it. Its nice to get the thoughts out of my head and be able to objectively read and analyze them. So thats why its kept going as long as it has.
Why a new blog?
A new life. A corner turned, a step onto a new path, a shuffling of perspectives and priorities. on the 7th of Feb, 2009, i sent a message to an old friend of mine, Starlight. I won't go into too many details of the past, here, thats not what Empyreal is about. If you want the 411 on Star and me and whats already happened, theres a bit of it over on Nebrise. Short and skinny of it is that Star and I hadn't spoken in nearly 3 years.
After i sent my message, we exchanged a few back and forths, they weren't the most relaxed messages, but in the end, it was decided that we were going to go ahead and give our friendship another chance.
We started to IM again. Started to write on the forum together, again. Then with the exchanging of new cell numbers, we started to text again, too. Finally we talked on the phone together, again.
The friendship quickly rebuilt itself, and then in the blink of an eye it left itself in its wake. Things progressed, and progressed quickly.
Today is the fifth of March. And i'm happy to say that Starlight and her lovely daughter have become the main attraction in the circus of my life. even as i sit here and type up this intro to the new blog, i ache to hear from her. The munchkins been under the weather the past two days and the ninja worrier that i am... well, i'm worried :/.
It was a handful of days ago that the talk finally happened. We both finally gave up holding ourselves back, came to the table and asked each other what it was that we wanted. What we needed, and where we were going with everything. Not a minutes gone by i haven't thought of them since. Sent her flowers on monday, she was having a stressful time at work, and being 26 hours away, it raises some complications as to how I can help her out in any reguard. I was so glad that they were well recieved.
At the time i was still concerned about just how serious things were to be considered, and was worried about rushing or moving to fast or bein to forward about how i felt. We've talked at length and assuaged most of those fears now.
Yesterday, instead of going to lunch, i hopped on my bike and road to the bookstore. first time in my entire life i think that Gauge walked into the bookstore and didn't go straight to the star wars section first. No. I walked into the bookstore, helmet tucked under one arm, and went straight into the parenting section. Stood there for a good twenty minutes thumbing through some books. Left with a sack full of books that talk about 'In-step' families and are meant to help educate, prepare, and ease the process of blending a family to be 'in-step'.
This action was a result of my already exhausting the interweb's selection of dating tips websites articles on dating single mothers. This action came after subscribing to several single moms blogs and reading and having my eyes opened and recieving new concepts and points of view. Its my commitment to whats happening. Its my preperation for the future to come. Its how i plan to be a better me. How i plan to be the best me. The very best Gauge I can be, so that I won't dissapoint Star.
So, here I lay. crashed on the bed after work cause my knee is killing me. can't wait to hear from her tonight. Hoping against all hope that the munchkins feeling better, or at least that she hasn't gotten any worse.
In examining my current wallet situation, i've decided to not go bowling until saturdays tournament, after all. Just going to stay in tonight and relax. Maybe pop in a movie or something, have a beer perhaps.
I didn't have a script coming into this intro, and i'm running low on brain juice at the moment, so i think i'm going to leave it at that, for now. This will conclude your introduction to the blog of the Empyreal Sunrise. I realize you have a choice when selecting blogs to read and I do appreaciate the fact that you've chosen Empyrise. Please enjoy your stay.
Out.
Liked that song since the first time I've heard it, though at the time I'd never have thought it'd come to hold such a strong meaning over my life.
Hey Y'all. Welcome to the Empyreal Sunrise blog. If we already know each other from the Nebulous Sunrise blog, then we don't need an introduction, but please, be considerate of any newcomers who haven't been along for that ride.
My name here is Gauge. Its not my real one, but its functional for the virtual world. Names used in here are almost always changed to protect the identities of the flesh and bones they represent. So, get used to seeing some creative nicknames for folks.
Me? I'm Gauge. 23 years old. I'm a Combat Medic in the US Army Reserves, I'm a mail room clerk for a large international finance corperation, I'm a big brother to an increasingly troublesome little sister, and i try every day to be a great friend to any who will let me into their lives.
I live in the midwest right now, a one bedroom apt that i share with two roommates. I call them the lil guys... Two kittens. One belongs to me, the other belongs to my Ex-Gf Jaden. Thats a name you'll probably here in most of my blogs, so commit it to memory. Jaden and I split up in October of last year, after a ten month relationship. It was pretty brutal. For more in depth backstory on all of that, you'll have to pop over to the Nebrise blog and read up. Anyway, Jaden and I have decided to remain friends, best friends at that, so, she's a pretty constant part of my life and therefore makes it inot most of my posts in some form or another.
Why do I write here? I started the Nebrise blog after Ginger and I broke up in the fall of 07. It served as an outlet for my angst, tension, and stress. Without having many friends around post-deployment i didn't have an good way to vent stuff out, so i created Nebrise and put it out there. Now, Well, honestly i just got addicted to it, I think. I enjoy it. Its nice to get the thoughts out of my head and be able to objectively read and analyze them. So thats why its kept going as long as it has.
Why a new blog?
A new life. A corner turned, a step onto a new path, a shuffling of perspectives and priorities. on the 7th of Feb, 2009, i sent a message to an old friend of mine, Starlight. I won't go into too many details of the past, here, thats not what Empyreal is about. If you want the 411 on Star and me and whats already happened, theres a bit of it over on Nebrise. Short and skinny of it is that Star and I hadn't spoken in nearly 3 years.
After i sent my message, we exchanged a few back and forths, they weren't the most relaxed messages, but in the end, it was decided that we were going to go ahead and give our friendship another chance.
We started to IM again. Started to write on the forum together, again. Then with the exchanging of new cell numbers, we started to text again, too. Finally we talked on the phone together, again.
The friendship quickly rebuilt itself, and then in the blink of an eye it left itself in its wake. Things progressed, and progressed quickly.
Today is the fifth of March. And i'm happy to say that Starlight and her lovely daughter have become the main attraction in the circus of my life. even as i sit here and type up this intro to the new blog, i ache to hear from her. The munchkins been under the weather the past two days and the ninja worrier that i am... well, i'm worried :/.
It was a handful of days ago that the talk finally happened. We both finally gave up holding ourselves back, came to the table and asked each other what it was that we wanted. What we needed, and where we were going with everything. Not a minutes gone by i haven't thought of them since. Sent her flowers on monday, she was having a stressful time at work, and being 26 hours away, it raises some complications as to how I can help her out in any reguard. I was so glad that they were well recieved.
At the time i was still concerned about just how serious things were to be considered, and was worried about rushing or moving to fast or bein to forward about how i felt. We've talked at length and assuaged most of those fears now.
Yesterday, instead of going to lunch, i hopped on my bike and road to the bookstore. first time in my entire life i think that Gauge walked into the bookstore and didn't go straight to the star wars section first. No. I walked into the bookstore, helmet tucked under one arm, and went straight into the parenting section. Stood there for a good twenty minutes thumbing through some books. Left with a sack full of books that talk about 'In-step' families and are meant to help educate, prepare, and ease the process of blending a family to be 'in-step'.
This action was a result of my already exhausting the interweb's selection of dating tips websites articles on dating single mothers. This action came after subscribing to several single moms blogs and reading and having my eyes opened and recieving new concepts and points of view. Its my commitment to whats happening. Its my preperation for the future to come. Its how i plan to be a better me. How i plan to be the best me. The very best Gauge I can be, so that I won't dissapoint Star.
So, here I lay. crashed on the bed after work cause my knee is killing me. can't wait to hear from her tonight. Hoping against all hope that the munchkins feeling better, or at least that she hasn't gotten any worse.
In examining my current wallet situation, i've decided to not go bowling until saturdays tournament, after all. Just going to stay in tonight and relax. Maybe pop in a movie or something, have a beer perhaps.
I didn't have a script coming into this intro, and i'm running low on brain juice at the moment, so i think i'm going to leave it at that, for now. This will conclude your introduction to the blog of the Empyreal Sunrise. I realize you have a choice when selecting blogs to read and I do appreaciate the fact that you've chosen Empyrise. Please enjoy your stay.
Out.
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