05 - Empyreal

"Sometimes good bye is a second chance."

Liked that song since the first time I've heard it, though at the time I'd never have thought it'd come to hold such a strong meaning over my life.

Hey Y'all. Welcome to the Empyreal Sunrise blog. If we already know each other from the Nebulous Sunrise blog, then we don't need an introduction, but please, be considerate of any newcomers who haven't been along for that ride.

My name here is Gauge. Its not my real one, but its functional for the virtual world. Names used in here are almost always changed to protect the identities of the flesh and bones they represent. So, get used to seeing some creative nicknames for folks.

Me? I'm Gauge. 23 years old. I'm a Combat Medic in the US Army Reserves, I'm a mail room clerk for a large international finance corperation, I'm a big brother to an increasingly troublesome little sister, and i try every day to be a great friend to any who will let me into their lives.

I live in the midwest right now, a one bedroom apt that i share with two roommates. I call them the lil guys... Two kittens. One belongs to me, the other belongs to my Ex-Gf Jaden. Thats a name you'll probably here in most of my blogs, so commit it to memory. Jaden and I split up in October of last year, after a ten month relationship. It was pretty brutal. For more in depth backstory on all of that, you'll have to pop over to the Nebrise blog and read up. Anyway, Jaden and I have decided to remain friends, best friends at that, so, she's a pretty constant part of my life and therefore makes it inot most of my posts in some form or another.

Why do I write here? I started the Nebrise blog after Ginger and I broke up in the fall of 07. It served as an outlet for my angst, tension, and stress. Without having many friends around post-deployment i didn't have an good way to vent stuff out, so i created Nebrise and put it out there. Now, Well, honestly i just got addicted to it, I think. I enjoy it. Its nice to get the thoughts out of my head and be able to objectively read and analyze them. So thats why its kept going as long as it has.

Why a new blog?

A new life. A corner turned, a step onto a new path, a shuffling of perspectives and priorities. on the 7th of Feb, 2009, i sent a message to an old friend of mine, Starlight. I won't go into too many details of the past, here, thats not what Empyreal is about. If you want the 411 on Star and me and whats already happened, theres a bit of it over on Nebrise. Short and skinny of it is that Star and I hadn't spoken in nearly 3 years.

After i sent my message, we exchanged a few back and forths, they weren't the most relaxed messages, but in the end, it was decided that we were going to go ahead and give our friendship another chance.

We started to IM again. Started to write on the forum together, again. Then with the exchanging of new cell numbers, we started to text again, too. Finally we talked on the phone together, again.

The friendship quickly rebuilt itself, and then in the blink of an eye it left itself in its wake. Things progressed, and progressed quickly.

Today is the fifth of March. And i'm happy to say that Starlight and her lovely daughter have become the main attraction in the circus of my life. even as i sit here and type up this intro to the new blog, i ache to hear from her. The munchkins been under the weather the past two days and the ninja worrier that i am... well, i'm worried :/.

It was a handful of days ago that the talk finally happened. We both finally gave up holding ourselves back, came to the table and asked each other what it was that we wanted. What we needed, and where we were going with everything. Not a minutes gone by i haven't thought of them since. Sent her flowers on monday, she was having a stressful time at work, and being 26 hours away, it raises some complications as to how I can help her out in any reguard. I was so glad that they were well recieved.

At the time i was still concerned about just how serious things were to be considered, and was worried about rushing or moving to fast or bein to forward about how i felt. We've talked at length and assuaged most of those fears now.

Yesterday, instead of going to lunch, i hopped on my bike and road to the bookstore. first time in my entire life i think that Gauge walked into the bookstore and didn't go straight to the star wars section first. No. I walked into the bookstore, helmet tucked under one arm, and went straight into the parenting section. Stood there for a good twenty minutes thumbing through some books. Left with a sack full of books that talk about 'In-step' families and are meant to help educate, prepare, and ease the process of blending a family to be 'in-step'.

This action was a result of my already exhausting the interweb's selection of dating tips websites articles on dating single mothers. This action came after subscribing to several single moms blogs and reading and having my eyes opened and recieving new concepts and points of view. Its my commitment to whats happening. Its my preperation for the future to come. Its how i plan to be a better me. How i plan to be the best me. The very best Gauge I can be, so that I won't dissapoint Star.

So, here I lay. crashed on the bed after work cause my knee is killing me. can't wait to hear from her tonight. Hoping against all hope that the munchkins feeling better, or at least that she hasn't gotten any worse.

In examining my current wallet situation, i've decided to not go bowling until saturdays tournament, after all. Just going to stay in tonight and relax. Maybe pop in a movie or something, have a beer perhaps.

I didn't have a script coming into this intro, and i'm running low on brain juice at the moment, so i think i'm going to leave it at that, for now. This will conclude your introduction to the blog of the Empyreal Sunrise. I realize you have a choice when selecting blogs to read and I do appreaciate the fact that you've chosen Empyrise. Please enjoy your stay.

Out.