16 - Right and Wrong

Drill Weekend, lack of interweb access. Sorry for the lapse.

Was a tough weekend. Memorial Service for our Command Sgt Maj... 35 years of service to our unit. To say he'll be missed just doesn't scrape the surface.

The Training was long, dry, run by civilians, and utterly fruitless.

I was tired, worn down, still recovering from my friday headache, and the guys at Drill didn't help out much.

Gonna cut straight to the meat here and i'll write about whatevers left over later on if need be.

Found out on Friday from Jaden that Ace is under the impression that she has severed all social ties with me. And that the only reason she and I would come into communication would be because of the fact that her kitten still lives with me or some other sort of emergency of that sort.

It was a numbing blow then, and over the weekend it only set in farther as time went along.

So, i brought it up last night. Over IM, told her how i felt. Told her I'm not comfortable with it, wondering how she could be. If/when it blows up, well, Frankly i'm not keen on angering a marine. I may not like the jar heads... but, They're still brothers in arms, and I do have respect for them. And, I'm also not keen on ending up shouldering the blame for troubles with thier marriage. Last thing I want is to be the scapegoat for a quick exit from that.

So, it was the right thing... to bring up the issues and the facts and the fears. Do I regret it? I think so.

Last time we had a convo along these lines, Jaden had explicitly told me that there wasn't any way she was going to stop talking to me. That it wasn't an option. No such statement was made, this time around. Meaning by doing the 'right' thing and calling her on this situation, i very well could have placed our friendship on her chopping block, and her gloves might already be off.

I don't .want. to not be able to talk to Jaden anymore... She's the only person in this state that understands me, that knows me and what i've been through, and understands what i need. She's the only person around here that I trust. And thats not something i really want to lose from my life.

She said something last night about goign 7 months without talking and then suddenly coming back into my life, and hoping that i wasn't a completely new person and that i wouldn't end up resenting her for her choice.

heh...

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Just like that, huh?

heh... Just got my answer, i suppose. Jaden just texted me, letting me know she's clearing out whats left of her stuff from my apt after work today.

Guess i can't be suprised.

*small shrug* was her call to make and she made it. nothing i can do about it but adjust and keep going, yeah?

work time... later.